Jan. 5, 2021

Episode 8: The Real Reason your New Years Resolutions Don't Stick

Episode 8: The Real Reason your New Years Resolutions Don't Stick

If you are tired of setting New Year's Resolutions that never last past January 14th, you need to listen to today’s episode. Creating real and lasting change goes way deeper than just changing your habits and switching up your environment.  On today’s episode, I am digging in to why your resolutions don’t stick, and the 5 layers that will result in real and lasting change in your life.


If you are tired of setting New Year's Resolutions that never last past January 14th, you need to listen to today’s episode.

Creating real and lasting change goes way deeper than just changing your habits and switching up your environment. 

On today’s episode, I am digging in to why your resolutions don’t stick, and the 5 layers that will result in real and lasting change in your life. 

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL LEARN:

  • The biggest mistake you are making with your New Year’s Resolutions.
  • Why just changing your habits isn’t enough to create lasting change
  • How to craft the identity of the person you desire to be
  • The sneaky thing keeping you stuck.

Also don’t forget to check out the shownotes so you can get access to bonus materials and related blogs and videos!! www.thelaunchfixpodcast.com/episode-8-the-real-reason-your-new-years-resolutions-dont-stick/

When you finish listening, I'd love to hear what you think! Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, share it to your Instagram stories and tag me, @jess.oconnell_ ! 

Or slide into my DMs, I’d love to hear what your biggest takeaways are! 

Transcript

On today's episode, I'm sharing the real reason why your New Year's resolutions are just not working out, and what you should focus on. instead. I'm just after launching dozens of courses and generating multiple six figures in Revenue Online, I have learned the right and wrong way to launch an online course. And in the last two years, I have helped my friends and clients generate more revenue with less stress using my aligned Launch Formula. On this podcast, I'm sharing with you my simple strategies and systems, so you can make more money online and make a bigger impact on the world. Keep listening for the launch fix podcast. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the launch fix podcast. My name is Jess, thank you so much for joining me today. And Happy New Year, you might be thinking about New Year's resolutions or setting some new year's resolutions.

Or maybe you've already set them but you're trying to stick with it. And so today I wanted to chat all about this topic, and why I really think New Year's resolutions don't work, I have totally been there, I have set a million new year's resolutions, just to I don't know why like the 11th of the month, completely scrapped them, right. And one of the biggest mistakes that I see people making with resolutions and kind of the biggest issue with resolutions in general, is that we treat them like a resolution, right? It's a resolve to completely change everything, it doesn't typically turn into a lifestyle change. It's kind of this sweeping declaration of change, where people are like, all of a sudden, I'm going to be a completely different person. And of course that doesn't work out right. And yet year after year after year, we set resolution after resolution, and it completely fails. And then we start to make it mean something about us like I'm a complete failure, and so on, and so on and so on, until you stop setting resolutions altogether.

And this is kind of where I was at a couple years ago when I realized that resolutions just didn't work for me. But I knew that I was ready to make a change. And it was the beginning of 2019. And it was really when I started my business. And I knew that I couldn't keep being the person that I was, and be successful in business I identified as a procrastinator. I was somebody who was definitely a perfectionist. And I had all of these stories and all of these identities that I was holding on to about who I was and what that meant about my success. And I was somebody who identified as broke, I was somebody who identified as bad with money. I was somebody who identified as somebody who couldn't stick with things. But I knew that I was holding myself back and that I just like I knew that if I could change how I identified myself that I would be able to change my behavior. And that was really when this first this concept first came to me actually through a podcast that you are in control of your identity that your identity is not set in stone.

And that really like kind of shook me, I remember hearing it while driving to work one day, and I was like, wait, what, my identity is not set in stone, then who determines who I am, right? Like if my identity is not who I am. I was completely shocked, right. And so I started to do more work on this. And I realized that your identity is just the story that you tell yourself and other people in the action that you have to back it up. And I'm taking a tangent, but I promise that I'll get back to the point. And I realized that if I wanted to have the success that I desired, but I was still holding on to the identity of being a perfectionist and a procrastinator and bad with money and broke. And all of these things that were going to keep me from ultimately having that success, that I needed to change something on a deeper level. And this was true in my health and fitness journey. This was true in my business journey. This was true in my money journey. All of these areas.

I had these stories and these identities that I it's hard for me to lose weight, I'll always struggle losing weight, it's hard to be healthy, right? All of these things that I had taken on that were ultimately playing a role in my lack of success in that area. And so, what I did at the beginning of 2019 is I was like I am not declaring crap. I am not setting any resolutions. I am not going to do that. Instead, I'm going to change who I say I am. And what I realized in that That process is this really simple framework that I'm going to give you today of how to do the same thing, how you can, like when Well, first, I'm going to talk about the mistakes that a lot of people make when going into change and when embarking on a change, and what to do instead and how to get even deeper than that. And so what I've learned is that there's really five layers in which change has to take place, for real and lasting change to occur. And when a lot of people set out to make a change, like with a new year's resolution, they start at the base level. And the first level of change is your behavior.

This is where your habits live, this is what you do day to day, this is what you like what you are doing. And a lot of people think that the change happens in the doing, and sure, changing what you're doing is important, right, you can't change and get a different outcome if you don't change what you're doing. But it goes so much deeper than that. And so unfortunately, a lot of people stop there, they change their habits, and then it doesn't stick, right. This is like going to the gym every single day. And then not continuing on after 11 days, right? Because there's only so deep changing your behavior really goes. And so that takes me to the second layer. So the first layer is your behavior. And then behind or below that is the second layer of change, which is changing your environment. And a lot of people make it to the second layer to right. Most people make it to the first they try to change their behavior. When that doesn't work, they give up some people make it to the second, which is changing their environment.

And your environment is obviously like the physical environment around you. But it's also what you consume. It's also the people you're around, it's also the people you follow on social media, it's also the things that you keep close to you, like your phone or like, whatever, right? That is your environment. And a lot of people will get to the level of changing their environment, right, if you want to start eating healthier, they get rid of the cookies, they you can like fill your fridge with healthy food, or you create an office space that you feel inspired to work in, right that would be changing your environment. Or if you have toxic friends who are not supporting you, removing those people from your orbit, that would be a change in environment. And you have to change your environment in order to see lasting change, right? When you move to a different city, you can decide who you are because you've changed your environment. And so that's a big piece of this. So changing your behavior and changing your environment. Yes, do that. But don't stop there. Because right below environment is where most people don't dare to go.

And unless you've been on like a personal growth journey, you really don't even get this level, right. And the third level of change is your beliefs. And it's the things that you say to yourself, it's so stories I was talking about, that I'm a procrastinator, I'm not good with money. It's hard for me to eat healthy. These are the stories that you tell yourself that you believe are true, right? We don't realize that our beliefs aren't truth, we just think that they are right, because they're true for us. But at the end of the day, truth and belief, there's a really fine line, your beliefs are only true to you. The truth is true for everyone. And so if you find yourself getting caught up in a belief, like eating healthy is hard. Is it hard for everyone? Or is it a belief. And I think if you can start to pattern interrupt, like I'm not good with money, or it's hard to not spend money or whatever is coming up for you. Ask yourself, Is this true for everyone? Or is this just true for me. And if it's not true universally, then it's probably a belief. And if it's a belief, that means you can change it. And that's a really powerful thing. And in order to change your habits in order to change your environment in order to create real and lasting change.

You have to change your beliefs, you have to change the story that you keep telling yourself on the inside. Because no matter how much you change your environment or your behaviors, if the underlying belief is contradictory to that you're never going to create lasting change, right? Here's an example. You believe eating healthy is hard. You remove all of the unhealthy food from your house and you stock your fridge with food. So you believe you believe eating healthy is hard environment. You make it prime for eating healthy behavior. You try to eat healthy, right? you prioritize healthy meals, what's going to happen? Are you going to be successful eating healthy if you ultimately believe that eating healthy is hard? No. You're gonna think this is hard. And you're gonna go run through a drive thru, right? Because your belief system is creating the experience of it being hard. If you want that to last. If you do the behavior and you start making a plan to eat healthy and you change your environment and you have healthy food and get rid of the bad food or the unhealthy food, then you have to get to the belief level where you say like, I believe that eating healthy makes me feel great.

I believe eating healthy is easy. I believe eating healthy makes me feel good, right. And when you shift your belief system to support that environment in that behavior change, that's when it will start to stick. However, there's another layer deeper to this, right? our beliefs are dictated by our values. And so you've changed your behavior, you've changed your environment, you've started to play with your belief system. But what goes even deeper into that what dictates our beliefs and not is ultimately our values. And your values are really driving the bus, you can change your beliefs, you can say all the affirmations, you can try to believe something different. But at the end of the day, if you value something contradictory to the new beliefs, environment and behaviors, it's just not going to happen, right? And you can start to see as I go deeper and deeper, you're like, yeah, that doesn't make sense, right? If I don't value health, if I don't value, like eating healthy food, and making my health a priority, then it's never going to stick. If you value comfort, if you value, what comfort food gives you, right, if that's a value for you, you're not going to create real and lasting change, right, you have to value what that gets you in. So the example of creating a business, you have to value creating something you have to value hard work you have to value Well, we can get into hard work at a later time, you have to value tenacity and grit.

And like making it happen, right, you have to shift your values because if you value, safety and comfort and playing small, you're never going to show up in the way that you need to in order to create a successful business. The next layer beyond values. So to recap, layer number one is your behaviors. And a lot of people change that layer number two is your environment. And a lot of people change that right. Layer number three is beliefs less people change those layer four is values, most people don't change those. And layer five is your identity. And that's where that initial tangent came in. A lot of people will change all of that stuff, but still say I am broke, they'll still say, I am a procrastinator. I am fat. I am a bad eater. I'm a picky eater. I hate exercising, right. All of these things that we take on everything we say after I am drives the bus, and you cannot see success. You cannot create real and lasting change in any tangible way until you change what comes after I am.

And so so many people, and you might be one of them are making resolutions right now when they're like, I'm finally going to be visible in my business. I'm going to show up on Facebook Live, I'm going to show up on Insta stories. I'm going to share my truth, yet they believe I'm not good enough. Nobody cares what I have to say I don't know enough to be an expert. And they hold on to the identity of I'm not an entrepreneur, I am not good enough, right? Do you think they're going to be visible? Do you think you're going to show up? Do you think you're going to reach the audience that you want to know? Right? Because at the end of the day, there's other stuff driving the bus. And so you can make all the sweeping declarations that you want, that this is your six figure year, that now is the year when you're going to get your ideas out there. But until you change your identity and your values and your beliefs, and then your environment and your behaviors, nothing real or lasting is going to change. So if this is you and I just kind of rocked your world a little bit, hi, welcome.

I hope that this was helpful. What I want you to do or what I would love for you to experience in this moment is just kind of sitting with this and resonating with that and asking yourself who do I need to be to easily and effortlessly create the life I want? That's the question I asked myself all the time. And I asked myself who do I need to be to easily and effortlessly create the life I want? Because I know that it's in who I'm being that ultimately determines what I'm creating and what I'm doing. And so every time I try to create something new or reach a new level, I asked Who do I need to be to make this happen? And that's really when I anchor into those identity changes. I need to be authentic, I need to be vulnerable and that's one that I'm working on right now. I need to be unapologetic. I need to To be confident, right? And these are all the things that I need to be and that I then set the goals to be, right. That's what I focus on, how can I be more confident? What do I need to value in order to be more authentic?

What do I need to value in order to be more vulnerable? Right? What am I beliefs need to be in order to be blah, blah, blah, right. And that's when I start to chip away at like, Okay, this means that I value this, and I believe this. And that means that my environment looks like this, right? For example, I just moved out of my office, like office building office, back home into a home office, since we just moved, and I am really formulating my environment for my next level. And one of the things that my highest level this year, the person I'm working on becoming a million dollar business, owner values, quality time with my family. And so having an office at home, that gives me the freedom to work when I'm working and be home when I'm at home, is extremely important to me. So creating those space boundaries, but also creating a space that I feel inspired to work that I want to work, not a place where I feel like I have to work and that I dread going to was just kind of what I found myself experiencing with my out of house office, which was a great space, because they didn't have anywhere to work at our old house because it was just so small.

But you have to create a space that you want to go to. And so the highest version of me wants to have the freedom to work a little play a little work a little hang out with my kids a little. And that's what my ideal workday looks like. And so I have created or I'm working on creating a space where I want to be where I want to show up where I feel inspired to work. And then I can also walk away from and go to the rest of the house and be with my kids and be with my husband and play with my dogs and have the things that I truly value be the forefront so that I can do the work I need to do. So anywho this got a little bit rambley. But thank you so much for listening. I am so excited for the new year, there's some really amazing things coming in my business starting with the launch of a new program called the offer fix in January. And just a couple weeks, I'm going to have a free workshop to help you create your high converting offer and really help you dig into the reason why your offers aren't converting and how to fix them so that you can make even more of an impact and even more money in 2021.

So if you're interested in that, check out the show notes for all the details, including when it starts and how to register and all of that jazz. And make sure to connect with me to on Instagram, I have a post where I kind of talked about this concept last week. So definitely go check that out. I will link that in the show notes to maybe let me just go to Instagram. It's a picture of me wearing like a green coat standing outside. Let me know what your biggest takeaways were. And I would love to chat with you about it. So that's all that I have for you today. Thank you so much for listening. And I can't wait to see you next week, where I'm going to talk about the five biggest mistakes that you're making with your offers if they're not converting and how to fix them. So I will see you in my next episode.